Currently Browsing: Love and Relationships

Alert: How to Spot Commitment Signals

Every person is different and there are no magic words or actions that can make someone to commit. But correctly and conscientiously “reading” signals of commitment in a potential long-term mate is critical. This is of great importance early on so you can gauge if the “person” and the relationship you’re in has a future. And looking for that partner can be ‘scary’ as Venessa Lee of the Straits Times wrote in her article.

You can search for answers real soon or wait a while to get these questions addressed, once and for all—Is this what I really want? Does this person feel the same for me? Are we on the same page about what commitment is? Can this relationship develop into commitment? When you don’t have solid information and direction to where things are going after considerable amount of time, then you might be in some sort of unequal commitment. No one on this earth who is in search for lasting love wants to find themselves in that lousy place.

According to Scott Stanley PhD, psychologist and professor at University of Denver, there is a good signal of commitment and by “good” he means that “the signal is valid.” Stanley adds that signals mirror something associated with commitment and not merely a noise. Here are some of the traits of good signal commitment.

Small Sacrifices

It doesn’t necessarily mean extraordinary or ultimate sacrifice but of course, that will certainly count! This means small sacrifices, daily indicators that the person is willing to set aside other matters (that are also important to him or her) to put their relationship or partner first—and also, it should be a mutual thing. It’s the consistent small ways that matters.

If you are seeing someone and looking for a future with them, reflect to see if you observe evidence that they can put what they want in the backseat for what’s best for you and the relationship.

Experts have found some sacrificial behavior examples that are deemed indicators of commitment:

  • Your partner engages in activities you know he or she doesn’t like but is willing to do it because you find fun in them.
  • Your partner drops everything he or she is doing to pay attention to what is making you feel down.
  • Your partner will alter or adjust his or her schedule to make it work for you.

For a behavior to tell something about commitment, it must be a behavior the person has control over. You can get loads of information when a person is in a place where he has options and naturally, what he picks among those options tells you who you are…for him.

Think about purchasing a band aid in a convenience store (suppose they sell one), it is one generic brand, sold only by six pieces and will most likely cost you higher price. Convenience stores excel at being “convenient” neither in low price nor quality brands. If you badly need to cover your cut, you’ll just forego your preference and take whatever is available.

Similarly, anything that limits your options or your partner’s, also limits the content of the choice made. This means some people misinterpret their partner’s behavior, perceiving that it may signal a commitment when the truth it doesn’t. For example, some couples who have been in a relationship for a while, with vague future, who also have constraints in building a life together or family, may also find it hard to read each other about what they clearly want for the future.

Commitment signals are not difficult to find, you just need to communicate, be objective and always on the look-out.

Things That Should Stay Between You and Partner

Sometimes you’ll turn to your friends or family for advice regarding your relationship, and that’s perfectly normal! But there are also things that you should keep to your relationship. If you can’t help but vent to someone, then, by all means, do so. You just need to remember that there are also things best kept to your own.


Fights are common in any relationship. No matter how long you’ve been together, you’ll always have disagreements from time to time. That’s why you should try your best to be selective about what you share with your family or friends. If you bad mouth your partner to your friends every time you have a fight, you’re perspective about him/her will change to the negative sooner or later! Of course, if the relationship becomes physically and emotionally abusive, that’s another story.

Financial problems

Another common problem in relationships is the difference in spending habits. If one of you is a frequent spender and one is really keen on saving, there’s bound to be disagreements. The thing is though, every couple will experience highs and lows when it comes to money. Though financial stability is important, there really are times when you’ll be frustrated with the money you have. In that case, don’t go around blaming your partner! Keep the problem between the two of you and trust that you can address financial issues together.

Problems with each other’s families

If your partner tells you something sensitive about their families, of course, you should keep it private in your relationship. If you have problems within your family, for example, and you’d want to get it off your chest, your partner is the person you usually go to. That’s because you’ve already established trust with each other. Surely, neither of you would want the other to go around talking to others about your family, right? It’s definitely one of those things you should simply respect as a couple.

Your goals as a couple

Another thing you should leave to yourselves is your goals with each other. Although it’s not necessarily prohibited, you should try not to expose too much about your dreams and goals as a couple. For example, planning to have kids. Usually, you’ll keep it to yourself until it’s actually confirmed. But really, as long as you and your partner share the same sentiments, that would be great for your relationship.

Anything related to sex

Sex is a very personal and intimate thing. Regardless of your partner being good or bad in bed, don’t go around telling others about it. It’s already pretty obvious that this is something that should be kept only between the two of you. Though it’s okay to brag about how loving you are as a couple, it’s really best to leave the intimate things out of the conversation. It’s a form of respect for each other and to the people you’re talking to as well.

The Kinds of Love You’ll Have in Your Life



Many of us who have been in a relationship may think that we’re wise already in the ways of love, but do you know there are different kinds of love you may experience in your life? Romantic love doesn’t always end happily ever after. And when it does end sadly – the important thing is that we learn from the experience. Read on to find out the kinds of love you might experience in your lifetime.


  1. The Love that Changed You

All of us have probably come across that person whose love was either too bad or too good for us to change. These people have easily turned darkness into light and have rocked the walls that guarded our hearts. However, like rubble, were left all crumbled down after they leave us without second thoughts.

  1. The Love that Was Never Real

Your love story with the Wrong Love may be the most exciting story. You know that the person won’t do you any good, but you still want to be with him anyway. This kind of love is often from bad boys/girls, people who are afraid of commitments and men or women who love to play games.

Though somehow you know your love will never be reciprocated the way you deserve, you still find the person hard to resist, which is probably why this person crosses your mind most often when you’re heartbroken or when you’re attached to someone else.

Couple crisis

  1. The Love that Left You Hanging

Closure is a luxury that not all relationships can afford to have. And because of this, most failed relationships don’t get the closure they need. This kind of love will leave you with a lot of questions—what ifs and what could have been. For someone who has truly given their all for their love, this could be the most devastating feeling.

  1. The Love that’s True and Real

True love endures all. It never leaves. It is mature and unconditional. You know that it’s true love because you can forgive the person, not just because you love him but because you know he is greater than his mistakes. More than just heedless emotion, true love is a conscious choice.

While some other men who are better than your true love, objectively speaking, you stay with him because you know he is the best one for you. Your love ignites your desire for marriage because you can’t imagine life without him.

Have you had names to go with each kind of love? Which ones have come to your life and which ones you haven’t yet experienced?