Currently Browsing: Love and Other Feelings

5 Ways to Spruce Your Marriage

 

The dating stage is the most fun part of a relationship. When you’ve just started dating someone, you feel giddy and excited to be together. Fast forward that relationship to being married, with three kids, a house and bills to pay, it’s quite difficult to feel giddy and carefree with your partner again.

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However, that doesn’t mean you don’t love your spouse. It simply means that you have focused more on others and your responsibilities as parents and responsible adults that you have forgotten to have those feelings again. Luckily, you can rekindle the fire you once had in the early days of your relationship with these ideas.

  1. Laugh It Up

An out-of-the-country vacation is nice, but is quite expensive. All it really takes to feel more connected with your partner is a good belly laugh. It’s a proven fact that laughter releases endorphins—the ‘feel good’ hormones—that help us bond with each other. So quit stressing about that expensive Caribbean cruise you can’t afford; instead, schedule your Friday nights for fun movies you can watch at home.

  1. Listen

When your partner starts sharing about something troublesome, try to avoid offering ‘helpful’ advices (e.g. “Just talk to your boss about why you can’t do it.”). Instead, offer open-minded and empathetic responses (e.g. “That’s hard. I know how much your work means to you.”) Quick-fix suggestions feel unconcerned, while empathetic responses make your significant other feel that you understand him, which helps build trust.

  1. Write Love Notes and Texts

Remember the time when you first dated and how much you talk about missing each other every single day? Well, a great way to feel the butterflies in your stomach again is to bring back those love messages. Send your spouse thoughtful texts to remind him to eat his lunch, how much you love and miss him and that you’re thinking about him, or leave little notes in his bag or suitcase that he’ll surprisingly find later in the day.

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  1. Talk Dirty

Hearing erotic words stimulates dopamine, which plays a huge part in sexual excitement. Talking dirty can enhance the physical and emotional intensity of making love. If you feel shy, silly or self-conscious, remember the easy formula to talking dirty: Tell them what you’re doing, what you will do and what you did.

  1. Kiss Longer

If it isn’t part of your everyday routine, start making it a habit to give each other lingering, passionate kisses before leaving for work and when you arrive home. Long, soulful kisses trigger endorphins, melting away stress, and contribute to a loving and fulfilling relationship. Try doing it every single day for a week, and see how much happier you are with each other’s presence.

Married life is, indeed, full of responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean you have to set aside your feelings and your spouse. There are so many little ways you can do every day to keep the fire burning in your marriage.

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Relationship Check: 5 Signs Your Relationship is Going Haywire

 

Do you feel like your relationship is sinking down to the deepest part of the ocean? Well, here are 5 signs your hunch is right—and tips on how you can remedy things.

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  1. Not enough communication

It has been proven by experts and love gurus that communication is the key to a long-lasting relationship. The more you speak openly to each other about your day-to-day dilemmas the more you realize that conversing makes your feelings toward each other stronger. Let’s face reality, we get into a relationship because we see a potential in the other person, a candidate for a lifetime partner. We don’t date just to pass time.

If you find that you have less and less communication with your partner, take that to mean that there has been a lapse in your relationship. Fix it. How? Simple, engage, converse, go back and look for that reason why you are infatuated with that person. Each individual has a language of love they feel comfortable with. Speak it, apply it, communicate with them the only way they want to be associated with, use their language of love.

  1. When arguing becomes a habit

Every relationship is not perfect—it will inevitably experience some bumps every now and then. But while the occasional argument do add some spice to your union, if you get past a certain point and your arguments have become habitual your relationship has probably become toxic and both of you need a major time out. Can there be a remedy? In every situation no matter how hard the circumstance is, there is a solution.

Find the core of your problem. The key to this kind of trouble is to listen. Listen to each other’s point of view, their insights, and frustrations. In silence formulate a way to ease off your better half’s anger and turn it the opposite direction. Think outside the box and come out of your shell. When everything else is wrong always remember what’s right. LOVE.

  1. Fooled—not once but twice

Lying has been one of the many reasons a relationship has raised the white flag. If one can’t be faithful then what’s the use of prolonging the agony? Be subtle, be vigilant, be patient, most of all be honest. It is a partial requirement for a healthy emotional state. Do not be blinded by your feelings, you deserve to be happy and loved.

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If someone is a good catch they would want to be caught. Stop chasing after people who require being chased. Don’t lose your worth and self-respect to stay in a relationship. Once is enough. If you are being cheated on repeatedly, then break away. Don’t be hard on yourself. A little space and perspective is all you need to finally let go.

  1. “I need space”

This phrase gets tossed around lately. Generally when the situation reaches this level there’s no point in saving it. Statistics show that 8 out of 10 relationships that have gone through this horrifying stage has eventually lost its charm. Women or men when told these words create an emotional wall. They still try to save what they think is worth saving, but eventually it end ups badly. Don’t try to enforce yourself on a person who needs the space, give them what they want, the distance.

Sometimes that little gap between you is all you both need to identify your strengths and capabilities. It fixes the relationship if you both visualize the root of all these dilemmas, and you both act on it. Don’t just sit around and let the feelings fade. Always hold on to the promise you once gave to each other, so love, when all signals are low, when the storm has blown too hard, when you’re in too deep, just LOVE.

  1. No more quality time

What are the components of a relationship? Surely, one of the ingredients to a picture perfect, head over heels bond is time. Admit to yourself that you need it. The simple gesture of giving your precious time to someone else is special, it makes you feel wanted, loved and secured. But what happens if you lose your quality time? Then, the problems start to kick in. If you can’t be there for someone then save the friendship while you’re at it.

Everyone deserves a little exertion of effort. This is considered a gratitude too many, a love language in fact. Many people tend to lose themselves when not given the privilege to be with the other. Try examining yourself first. Are you ready to commit? If you’re not ready then don’t push it. If you’re not ready to add value to their life just admire them from afar. Don’t interrupt their greatness, find yourself first before attaching yourself to another person, then happiness shall follow.

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