When Your Child Talks Back: The Constructive Communication Approach

You ask your kid to quit playing video games because it’s time for some homework and he answers back with “whatever.” Does this attitude mean you have shortcomings as a parent?

Not necessarily. There are many reasons that influence this attitude. Sometimes, kids test boundaries to check what they can get away with. They may also do this to get attention because talking back guarantees a parent’s attention. Whatever the reasons may be, it is realistically difficult not to reply angrily. But there are, of course, wise course of actions to take that disable us to give in to our kid’s disrespectful attitude.

Watch your language and model values

If there is one thing we often hear about raising kids, that is “everything starts at home.” As a parent, it is critical to monitor your own language in dealing with your child especially when you feel like yelling or criticizing. When this is about to happen, bite your tongue and breathe deeply. Remember that your action models something to your child. If you don’t want to breed an ill-mannered kid, then don’t behave like one.

In a parenting article posted on SingaporesChild.com, Dr. Borba suggests that intervention is highly needed the moment the child displays rude tone of voice or choice of words.  This can be done by allowing your child to be aware of this as you speak in a firm yet calm voice, “Let’s speak when you speak right.”

Build emotional bank with your child

Take advantage of every opportunity that you can positively connect with your child. This can involve knowing and learning what hobbies or activities interests your child, and you can start from there. You may want to invite your kid to join a workshop together or visit his favorite theme park.

Express your willingness to show that you aren’t just there to punish them when they’ve done something wrong, but you’re also someone whom they can always count on. Children think twice in hurting the feelings of their parents when they feel appreciated, loved and connected to. Always see to it to spend at least 20 minutes with you kid every day while giving them positive reinforcement and attention.

Calmly approach your child’s behavior and set clear expectations

It might be a sarcastic answer or tone of voice that hurt you but do not level your response with the same approach. “I know that you are upset at the moment. I feel how much you need me to approve of what you’re asking, but let’s talk about this when we are both calmer.”

This way, we teach our children about building a respectful conversation with another person. When kids disrespect and parents ignore it, they are given no favors. If parents respond with the same disrespectfulness, it is validating the rude behavior. In short, they take it from us.

It’s imperative to discuss and explain that there are behaviors which are off-limits. If you are not pleased with your child’s sarcastic remarks, clear that out. “It is disrespectful when I talk to you and you answer that way. Please refrain from doing that.”

Alert: How to Spot Commitment Signals

Every person is different and there are no magic words or actions that can make someone to commit. But correctly and conscientiously “reading” signals of commitment in a potential long-term mate is critical. This is of great importance early on so you can gauge if the “person” and the relationship you’re in has a future. And looking for that partner can be ‘scary’ as Venessa Lee of the Straits Times wrote in her article.

You can search for answers real soon or wait a while to get these questions addressed, once and for all—Is this what I really want? Does this person feel the same for me? Are we on the same page about what commitment is? Can this relationship develop into commitment? When you don’t have solid information and direction to where things are going after considerable amount of time, then you might be in some sort of unequal commitment. No one on this earth who is in search for lasting love wants to find themselves in that lousy place.

According to Scott Stanley PhD, psychologist and professor at University of Denver, there is a good signal of commitment and by “good” he means that “the signal is valid.” Stanley adds that signals mirror something associated with commitment and not merely a noise. Here are some of the traits of good signal commitment.

Small Sacrifices

It doesn’t necessarily mean extraordinary or ultimate sacrifice but of course, that will certainly count! This means small sacrifices, daily indicators that the person is willing to set aside other matters (that are also important to him or her) to put their relationship or partner first—and also, it should be a mutual thing. It’s the consistent small ways that matters.

If you are seeing someone and looking for a future with them, reflect to see if you observe evidence that they can put what they want in the backseat for what’s best for you and the relationship.

Experts have found some sacrificial behavior examples that are deemed indicators of commitment:

  • Your partner engages in activities you know he or she doesn’t like but is willing to do it because you find fun in them.
  • Your partner drops everything he or she is doing to pay attention to what is making you feel down.
  • Your partner will alter or adjust his or her schedule to make it work for you.

For a behavior to tell something about commitment, it must be a behavior the person has control over. You can get loads of information when a person is in a place where he has options and naturally, what he picks among those options tells you who you are…for him.

Think about purchasing a band aid in a convenience store (suppose they sell one), it is one generic brand, sold only by six pieces and will most likely cost you higher price. Convenience stores excel at being “convenient” neither in low price nor quality brands. If you badly need to cover your cut, you’ll just forego your preference and take whatever is available.

Similarly, anything that limits your options or your partner’s, also limits the content of the choice made. This means some people misinterpret their partner’s behavior, perceiving that it may signal a commitment when the truth it doesn’t. For example, some couples who have been in a relationship for a while, with vague future, who also have constraints in building a life together or family, may also find it hard to read each other about what they clearly want for the future.

Commitment signals are not difficult to find, you just need to communicate, be objective and always on the look-out.

The Basics of Contouring and Highlighting

Applying makeup has become an art in recent years thanks to the variety and quality of a number of cosmetics available for every skin type and complexion. With so many makeup tutorials on the Internet, however, most people tend to forget the basic rules when practicing contouring and highlighting. This guide will help you remember the rules on when and how to apply contouring and highlighting.

Know Your Face Shape

Make a map of your face using a foundation starting on the temples, hairline, cheekbones, and nose tip. The goal is to highlight your best features and to create proportionate features. This means you have to be honest about how large or small your nose is or how rounded your cheeks are.

Apply Light Concealer on the T-Zone

Once you’re done applying and blending the foundation, brush a light concealer or lighter foundation on the T-zone of your face which include the area above the eyebrows, your nose, and your upper lip and chin. Then apply the same product under your eyes, above the jawline, and above the cheekbones.

Don’t Use Glitters

Pick a highlighter that almost has the same color of your skin to make it look natural. Anything that is shiny or sparkly will make your face look chalky. For light skin tones, use light pink or pearl, while those with darker complexions should use warm gold or golden brown.

Know When to Use Tools

If you love using creams, blending is better with your fingers because you can easily wipe off or blend in the excess. If you are using a powder, look for a fan brush made from natural bristles because they are easier to control and are soft on the skin.

Find You Cheek Hollows

Most women want to have the supermodel cheekbones, but if you have a rounded face, look for the hollows in your cheeks. Shade the areas just beneath it using an inward stroke beginning from the top. Then stop one inch before the shading reaches the corners of your lips. If you have rounded features, you should shade along your chin and your forehead instead so that your face won’t appear longer.

Add a Blush

Don’t leave your cheeks colorless if you’re highlighting and contouring because you will look sickly. For those with fair skin, choose pink and peach shades, while those with darker complexions should use soft plum. Apply the blush only on the apples of your cheeks.

Start with Eye Makeup

If you are planning to use bold eye makeup colors, beauty experts recommend that you start with your eyes before you contour to avoid messing up your foundation. If you want to use lighter eye makeup, just use the same product you used to contour your cheeks on your eyelids.

Don’t Overdo It

Highlighting doesn’t mean you need to highlight ever feature on your face. Just focus on your cheekbones, brows, chin, and nose tip. Use light coats as much as possible and blend the cream on your fingers before rubbing it on your face.

3 Alternative Recipes to Your Regular Lasagna

Can’t get enough of lasagna? Here three fun and unique ways to make your favorite pasta recipe.

Taco Lasagna

Ingredients: 1 pound ground beef, 2/3 cup water, ½ cup green pepper, ½ cup onion, 15 ounces rinsed and drained black beans, 15 ounces undrained Mexican tomatoes, 6 flour tortillas, 16 ounces refried beans, 1 envelope taco seasoning, and 3 cups shredded Mexican cheese blend

Preparation: In a skillet, cook beef, onion, and green pepper. Drain excess liquid then add taco seasoning and water. Bring to a boil then simmer while uncovered for 2 minutes before stirring in tomatoes and black beans.

Simmer again for another 10 minutes. Prepare the baking dish by placing tortillas at the bottom then spreading half the beef mixture and refried beans. Layer with a cup of cheese on top. Fill the next layers in the same sequence. Bake while covered for 25 to 30 minutes in 350°F.

Spinach and Sausage Lasagna

Ingredients: 10 ounces squeeze-dried spinach, 1 pound Italian sausage, ½ cup water, 24 ounces spaghetti sauce, 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning, ½ teaspoon salt, 15 ounces ricotta cheese, 2 cups shredded part -skim mozzarella, 9 no-cook lasagna noodles, and grated parmesan

Preparation: Cook the sausage first in a skillet then drain excess liquid before stirring in water, spaghetti sauce, salt, and Italian seasoning. Spread a cup of mixture in a greased slow-cooker, then layer with the lasagna noodles.

In a bowl, mix spinach, ricotta, and 1 cup mozzarella. Layer some of this spinach-cheese mixture on top of the sauce. Repeat the layers then sprinkle with cheese on top. Cook for 3 to 4 hours then serve with parmesan cheese.

Buffalo Chicken Lasagna

Ingredients: 1 ½ pounds ground chicken, 12 ounces Buffalo wing sauce, 1 tablespoon canola oil, 1 onion, 1 grated carrot, 1 celery rib, 2 garlic cloves, 15 ounces drained diced tomatoes, ½ cup water, ¼ teaspoon pepper, ½ teaspoon salt, 15 ounces ricotta cheese, 9 lasagna noodles, 1 ¾ cups crumbled blue cheese, 1 lightly beaten egg, ½ cup flat-leaf parsley, 3 cups shredded part-skim mozzarella, and 2 cups shredded white cheddar

Preparation: Cook chicken, carrot, onion, and celery until the meat is no longer pink, then add garlic. Cook for 2 minutes before stirring in Buffalo wing sauce, tomatoes, water, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning. Bring to a boil then cover and simmer for 1 hour while cooking the noodles separately.

In a small bowl, prepare a mixture of egg, parsley, ricotta, and ¾ cup blue cheese while preheating the oven to 350°F. Layer the baking dish with sauce, lasagna noodles, sauce, ricotta mixture, mozzarella, cheddar, and blue cheese in the same sequence. Bake while covered for 20 minutes, then bake uncovered for another 20 minutes.

13 Best Role-Playing Games You Need to Try

RPGs never get old even when there are plenty of shooters and action-adventure titles around. Here are 13 titles you can sink your 100 hours into.

  1. Kingdom Come: Deliverance – An RPG set in the Medieval times where you play as a son of a blacksmith. You start off as a peasant with no skills and no connections, but who decided to see life outside of your village. It has no magic and fantastic creatures if you want a new take on RPGs.
  1. Moonlighter – You get to live two different lives in this game; in the morning as a shop manager and in the evening as an explorer. This means you get to enjoy two different mechanics; managing resources and exploration.
  1. The Alliance Alive – A thousand years ago a race of creatures called Daemons have taken over the world and have blocked out the sun. Nine people decided to take on the challenge of restoring order and ousting the evil overlords.
  1. Monster Hunter: World – The objective of the game is simple enough: take down or trap monsters; but doing this is more complicated because you can hunt alone or in groups to take down the creatures. Additionally, your equipment will determine the rate of your success.

  1. The Banner Sage 3 – This is the conclusion to the series which is well-known for its tactical turn-based combat. For fans of the Viking lore and culture, this game is highly recommended.
  1. Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire – An excellent sequel to the first Pillar, here you control the watcher and a group of characters who join you on your seafaring adventure. The events are set 5 years after the first game.
  1. Ashen – You will be able to explore this open sunless world as you find your way home and eliminate monsters. This game can be played singly or in multiplayer.
  1. Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom – This sequel, set hundreds of years after the previous game, follows the story of a young king who was usurped and banished from his home. The king, however, found himself an ally in a president of an unknown nation.
  1. Death’s Gambit – Although this is primarily a platformer, a lot of players also enjoyed this for the RPG elements and the beautiful art style.

  1. Octopath Traveler – This turn-based RPG lets you play through eight different characters with unique backgrounds and abilities. If you’re the type who only sticks to one class, this game can let you handle all of them in different playthroughs.
  1. Deep Sky Derelicts – You play as a poor outcast wandering the different ships in space. To change your fate, your mission is to find a derelict ship in Deep Sky.
  1. West of Loathing – Thus turn-based RPG is based on the Kingdom of Loathing universe but with a western setting. Your mission is to find a better life in Fresco City.
  1. Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age – If you are a fan of the series, then this installment will not disappoint with its beautiful visual and unforgettable characters.

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